So, I get the album Ink from Zelienople in the post. I pop it in the computer, surprise, no security message pops up and I go ahead and encode the album. Whilst it’s encoding, I use the fine Windows XP multi-tasking to find out a little bit more about this band. It seems they are under the category of ‘Jazz’ and ‘Indie Rock’. Awesome, can’t wait to check out this EP from the ‘next big thing’.

The encoding finishes and I crank up track one, It’s Still Hard To Steal Cars. A mish mash of reverberated guitars weaves their way together. A quiet voice fades in, adding more echo to the mix. I can’t really understand what this guy is mumbling about. I notice a buzzing in the background, as if some instrumentalist in the background has fallen asleep on his instrument. I think, if this keeps up, I might fall asleep. I cross my fingers, hoping it is just a slow opener to something bigger.

Track two Ink loads. If this band was ink, they would probably be invisible ink in which you need to iron over to see what is written - because at the moment it is un-readable and almost un-conceivable. The beginning of Ink sounds like a lead up into something massive – kind of like a movie score before a massive monster, gorilla or bad guy comes out of the bushes. Sadly, 4 minutes and 32 seconds on, we are still stuck in a wave less, motionless mash of sounds.

Track four, Pace Car doesn’t have any pace and sticks around until you almost get a head-ache. If the United States army needs music to torture their captives, I think they should invest in some Zelienople.

By this stage, I must admit, I’ve had enough and done something for the first time in my life - I start scanning the tracks back and forth to see if the album picks up. The rest of the album is pretty much the same – track five is the same as the rest of the album, except this time with the singer/mumbler back again. Track six is annoying, but also has some creepy under tones to it which has added one eighth of a thumb up for me, but once again over stays its length. Track seven offers a brief glimmer of hope for a half decent climax which it delivers for a minute at the most.

If you want some ambience music, Zelienople can offer. Or if you want something to chill out too while on your drug of choice. Other then that, it offers NOTHING! Other then that, is just boring and painful – finger nails down the black board is probably better then this ‘music’.