Welcome everyone to today's lesson on the subject of how to ingratiate your band into the post rock scene. The first and most important thing is the name of the band. It is important to have something that will resonate with the target audience for post-rock. A good suggestion is to rip off an album title from one of the influential bands, say Godspeed You! Black Emperor. How about Antennas To Heaven? Such a band name has the sense of fawning worship needed to try and gain cred in the post rock scene.

Then there is what to call your first album. An oblique nod to another post-rock band is a good bet. The Line Between Myth and Reality Has Always Been In Finland is a suitably smug reference to Sigur Ros and fertile post-rock tundra of the Nordic countries. If you have got this far, well done.

The next important step is the song titles. If you are not going to use foreign titles, the next best step is obtuse, enigmatic titles with the occasional hint of intellectual wankery. Funnier With A Plank, Twisted Innards, The Wall's End are good examples. But a credit is up for grabs with references to slightly obscure Russian film directors such as This Bloody Tarkhovsky Film.

At this stage your band and entrée into the post rock world is nearly complete. The final element is the music itself. At this stage you are most likely a little tired from the exertions of being oh so clever so don't worry too much about the music. Just have some guitar melodies looping over percussion. And remember, nothing says "Look at me! I'm making serious music here!" like adding someone reciting spoken word pieces of little interest in a boring, expressionless voice over the top of the music.

There you have it. A compact guide to creating your own post rock band that too quickly descends into insufferable attention seeking pseudo-intellectual smart arsery and ponderous, meandering tunes. The danger with post rock is that unless you pay careful attention and have the talent and passion to put something behind the music there is a fine line between experimental greatness and too clever by half buffoonery.

In this example Antennas To Heaven and The Line Between Myth and Reality Has Always Been In Finland fall on the wrong side of the line.